The speeches at the Christmas Party went on for a while. It seemed like M & D had to mention everyone that worked for them - to show they cared. Even W had to say something, starting with 'You probably don't know who I am' and ending with 'you are all doing a wonderful job' without explaining who he was at any point. Well, how does a ruthless Tory see himself? M & D left it up to my favourite manager to talk about me, which she did beautifully, so before it got too emotional I left for the rest of them to party into the night.
But now I have no energy. It is like this time with M & D has been a drugged existence and now the drug is wearing off. I had to keep myself up to speed, on the ball, or whatever you want to call it in order to provide an exceptional service for M & D. They paid me well so I thought they deserved it. Now I'm leaving, I no longer need to keep up that frenetic pace and all the artificial energy I used in keeping up that pace is now departing. I need to rest.
Sunday, 21 December 2008
Monday, 15 December 2008
They really do care!
Well sort of. After a minor spat with M about the amount of time I had to take off this afternoon to attend to a builder, ('You took over 3 hours off!' 'Couldn't it have been done on a day you weren't working?' etc. etc), we worked together preparing awards for the Christmas Party tomorrow and showing her the stuff I do in IT. D is also desparate to speak to me to go through things as well. This is because it is the last day they will be at work prior to Christmas and possibly my leaving.
M then asks me to come into a meeting with her and D. She wants to know if I would prefer that nothing was mentioned about me leaving, should it be kept private or should it be public? I said it would look very strange if nothing was said about my leaving. They are asking me this because they want to play down the fact that they are making me redundant. They don't want a scene at the Christmas party. I won't make a scene there, or at least I don't intend to.
M leaves and I'm left with D. He asks me what my plans are? I am almost dumbstruck, but not quite. I tell him how I feel, 57, scrap heap etc. etc. He nods and keeps this strange nodding up all the time I am talking. He doesn't know what to say. I tell him that he and M and W have made their mind up on how to spend their money. I tell him I will be on the dole. I leave the meeting.
According to Money Box on Radio 4 today, the payments for redundancy today have been based on salaries from the 1960s.
All you need is love.
M then asks me to come into a meeting with her and D. She wants to know if I would prefer that nothing was mentioned about me leaving, should it be kept private or should it be public? I said it would look very strange if nothing was said about my leaving. They are asking me this because they want to play down the fact that they are making me redundant. They don't want a scene at the Christmas party. I won't make a scene there, or at least I don't intend to.
M leaves and I'm left with D. He asks me what my plans are? I am almost dumbstruck, but not quite. I tell him how I feel, 57, scrap heap etc. etc. He nods and keeps this strange nodding up all the time I am talking. He doesn't know what to say. I tell him that he and M and W have made their mind up on how to spend their money. I tell him I will be on the dole. I leave the meeting.
According to Money Box on Radio 4 today, the payments for redundancy today have been based on salaries from the 1960s.
All you need is love.
Thursday, 11 December 2008
Positive
I'm trying to believe that 'thinking positively' is the way forward. In the light of everything going on in the world I think I must be mad to try this. But what other choice is there? I think I might have said before that I've always been a 'glass half empty' kind of person so trying to change my thought patterns - neural pathways carved into place by years of hard experience - is difficult.
However, I did have a very positive experience when I made my first trip to a recruitment agent last week. I spent over an hour there talking to various agents and afterwards felt thoroughly lifted and envigorated. I actually felt I might even be able to get a job. In the cold light of reality, my cv was just another one on their files - see there I go again.
I've also been sort of offered a job by another agency, but the hours are silly (to me) 8.15 a.m. to 6.00 p.m. and when I baulked at that, they came back and offered me 8.15 a.m. to 5 .15 p.m. The previous day I received an email response at 8.00 a.m from an application I had made earlier. I'm obviously missing something about working hours in the modern world.
At my current employment I am preparing for M a list of everything I do and everything she thinks I do (they aren't the same thing, just going to show that she has no idea what I really do), so that she can run the office smoothly when I leave. It is already running to 15 pages.
She is also organising a Christmas party. In previous years the costs of these have run into several thousands of pounds. And on the other hand there will be no Christmas bonuses this year. People have suggested that she cancel the party so that people can get bonuses. What is there to celebrate anyway?
She fiddles while Rome burns.
However, I did have a very positive experience when I made my first trip to a recruitment agent last week. I spent over an hour there talking to various agents and afterwards felt thoroughly lifted and envigorated. I actually felt I might even be able to get a job. In the cold light of reality, my cv was just another one on their files - see there I go again.
I've also been sort of offered a job by another agency, but the hours are silly (to me) 8.15 a.m. to 6.00 p.m. and when I baulked at that, they came back and offered me 8.15 a.m. to 5 .15 p.m. The previous day I received an email response at 8.00 a.m from an application I had made earlier. I'm obviously missing something about working hours in the modern world.
At my current employment I am preparing for M a list of everything I do and everything she thinks I do (they aren't the same thing, just going to show that she has no idea what I really do), so that she can run the office smoothly when I leave. It is already running to 15 pages.
She is also organising a Christmas party. In previous years the costs of these have run into several thousands of pounds. And on the other hand there will be no Christmas bonuses this year. People have suggested that she cancel the party so that people can get bonuses. What is there to celebrate anyway?
She fiddles while Rome burns.
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