Positive

I'm trying to believe that 'thinking positively' is the way forward. In the light of everything going on in the world I think I must be mad to try this. But what other choice is there? I think I might have said before that I've always been a 'glass half empty' kind of person so trying to change my thought patterns - neural pathways carved into place by years of hard experience - is difficult.

However, I did have a very positive experience when I made my first trip to a recruitment agent last week. I spent over an hour there talking to various agents and afterwards felt thoroughly lifted and envigorated. I actually felt I might even be able to get a job. In the cold light of reality, my cv was just another one on their files - see there I go again.

I've also been sort of offered a job by another agency, but the hours are silly (to me) 8.15 a.m. to 6.00 p.m. and when I baulked at that, they came back and offered me 8.15 a.m. to 5 .15 p.m. The previous day I received an email response at 8.00 a.m from an application I had made earlier. I'm obviously missing something about working hours in the modern world.

At my current employment I am preparing for M a list of everything I do and everything she thinks I do (they aren't the same thing, just going to show that she has no idea what I really do), so that she can run the office smoothly when I leave. It is already running to 15 pages.

She is also organising a Christmas party. In previous years the costs of these have run into several thousands of pounds. And on the other hand there will be no Christmas bonuses this year. People have suggested that she cancel the party so that people can get bonuses. What is there to celebrate anyway?

She fiddles while Rome burns.